A Positive Mind

My friends refer to me as the "positive guy" in the group.  I try to exude positive energy in every environment I am in.  I think people see me as positive guy, not by the things I say or do, but by the negative thoughts and words I choose to eliminate from my life.  You see, when people think of having a positive mind they automatically believe they have to be thinking happy-positive thoughts all the time.

I personally believe you will be more successful in achieving a positive mind if you'd simply eliminate negative thoughts and self limiting beliefs.  Rather than try to fake positive thoughts when you aren't really feeling them, try to at least eliminate the negative words and thoughts from creeping in.  Your natural state, and that of all human beings, is to be in a positive state of mind.  We just consciously or unconsciously screw it up by not controlling our thoughts and words.

           "When we observe our word choices, we change our lives for the better." - Yehuda Berg

Many people give up on the whole positive mind approach because they don't see instant results. The problem arises when people say and do almost everything positive but then counteract it with negative thoughts and self limiting beliefs. Thinking positive thoughts doesn't work until you eliminate the negative ones. The honest truth is that perfecting your technique of filtering negative thoughts may take you months, if not years. Those expecting instant gratification from instant results, need not apply. It takes time, it takes diligence and hard work but the results will come.

"Thoughts become things, choose the Good Ones!" - Mike Dooley

Read that last line one more time, from the book Infinite Possibilities.  Let it soak in, because once you learn this message and internalize it's meaning you will be in more control over the thoughts you think and you'll definitely be more aware of the impact they have on your results.  Most skeptics will say, if thoughts become things, I'll just think my way to success.  Thoughts alone don't produce results, they will prepare you but you must act in order to produce the desired results.  Start today, try to catch yourself when you think something negative and immediately replace it with a positive thought.  Here I'll get you started:

Be Consistent

There is tremendous power in being consistent.  Professional athletes spend countless hours practicing their craft in order to improve their effectiveness and consistency.  There are players that consistently make clutch plays.  You can rely on them to deliver the results when it counts. 

"Confidence comes from hours and days and weeks and years of constant work and dedication." - Roger Staubach

Many of us won't be called on to make a winning 3 point shot in the NBA Finals but we can certainly learn a lesson or two from athletes, which we can apply in our own lives.  The idea is to strive to be consistent in whatever it is you put your mind to.  Whether it relates to your business, family or fitness goals...there is tremendous power in being consistent.  Consistently doing what is required to achieve your goals.  Success is not about doing one HUGE thing right and BAM! you're successful.  It's about doing the small things day in and day out, even when you don't feel like doing it.  Yes you'll have days when you fall off the wagon but you need to pick yourself up and refocus the next day.

Last year I picked up the book, The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy.  He lays out details of his personal success and he claims that his most important trait is his unyielding and relentless commitment to consistency.  "Success is not defined by how you start, but by how you continue...over a long period of time."

The Compound Effect states that the routine choices we make, when compounded over long periods, form habits which exert outsized control over our lives.  The compound effect is always working, whether you believe in it or not.  Either working in your favor or against you.  Small efforts you put in each day begin to compound and have a drastic effect on our health, wealth and mindset.  A good example he gives is that of annual compound interest, but in your case think of your daily actions compounded weekly.  The return on your initial investment is multiplied significantly based on your consistency.  The momentum you gain will help propel you forward while also providing a surge of motivation.

For many of us, it is easy to begin something.  Most of us are super determined to make a change as we ring in the New Year each year.  Three months later, if you've lasted this long, your determination has usually faded away.  Whether it's starting a workout regime or eliminating a bad habit.  We all start with an extreme situation, like committing to going to the gym 5-6 times a week, when just a month before, our definition of a workout was running to get the mail 15 yards from our front door.  The extremism may work at first but it is not easy to sustain for the long run.  The key is to ease your way into the desired change.  Develop a plan where you can ramp up to the desired result while still giving yourself flexibility if you encounter some drawbacks along the way.  If your plan is too extreme, you risk losing motivation once you encounter situations that affect the sustainability of your plan.  With flexibility in your game plan you can allow for some hiccups while immediately refocusing on your goals.

The next time you propose a new goal for yourself, break it up into a smaller pieces that you can manage.  For me, the thought of running a marathon (26.2 miles) is overwhelming and introduces a dose of anxiety and fear but when I chop it up into buckets of 5 miles, it becomes something more manageable to approach.  My reasoning is that a 5 mile run is doable for me, the key is I would have to repeat what is doable for me, just a little over 5 times.  This approach can be used to tackle huge goals or help you more effectively knock things off your to-do list.  Whatever your goal is, try to break it up into manageable pieces which you can work on each day and most importantly, BEGIN TODAY!

It All Starts With Commitment

Back in 2008, soon after the birth of my first son, I decided to take up running as a form of getting back in shape.  The weird phenomenon that tends to happen to men when their wives get pregnant, actually happened to me.  I had ballooned to 40 lbs over my ideal weight.  I don't know if it was her or me getting all the cravings.  What I do know is that I was overweight and not proud of how I had let myself go.  I decided then and there that I would commit to doing something about it.  I looked at my son and knew this little guy was going to be my driving force, my inspiration to achieve all my goals.  Right away I knew I wanted to be the dad that would be active, one that could run with him, a dad that could go out and play for hours with him.  A dad with no excuses!

Coincidentally (if you believe in coincidences) my brother-in-law suggested we try out running since I lived in a neighborhood with a nice running route.  My plan was to begin running one mile a day until I could build myself up to running longer distances.  My ultimate fitness goal was to run the 4 mile course around my house, which seemed like a daunting task at the time.  I hadn't run anything close to a mile for nearly ten years, or basically since high school.  I thought only a crazy person would run for fun or even to lose weight.  It seemed like the most boring activity anyone could engage in.

At the beginning it was a combination of running and walking.  If I remember correctly, we began with 1 minute jogging and then we would walk to 2 or 3 minutes.  It took us over 12 minutes to complete our first mile, not to mention, we were beat and needed quite a bit of time to catch our breath.  After all the years of playing sports as a kid and throughout high school, here I was panting for air like a dog laying outside on a hot summer afternoon.  Seeing myself so weak had an empowering effect on me.  At that moment, I recommitted to my goal of achieving a healthy weight and living a healthy lifestyle.  It's not only about starting with commitment, it's also about recommitting along the way.  Recommitting to your goal when you hit a hard obstacle or your doubts begin to creep in.  Always remember that your initial commitment may not have enough juice to get you to the finish line, you will have to recommit one or more times before you finally achieve your intended goal.

I began running 4-5 times a week and adjusted my diet to introduce more vegetables and fruits while reducing processed foods.  This one-two punch helped me lose weight and ultimately gain the endurance I needed to run more miles, while walking less.  Fast forward 3 months and I was now able to complete the 4 mile course with an average pace of 10min 30sec/mi.  Nothing to write home about for many runners, but for me it was a huge accomplishment.  You see, you should never compare yourself to other runners or other people in life.  This is the perfect recipe for a life of unhappiness and a life were you never truly feel accomplished.

What I did was compare myself and my results to what I did yesterday and the week before.  I was trying to be better than I was last week or last year.  I wasn't focused on beating Lance Armstrong in a fitness competition.  My goals revolved around improving myself compared to myself, not to anyone else.  The key is to keep track of your progress, take notes of your results so that you have something to compare to.  You can't get better if you don't know how well you did before.  This serves two purposes; the obvious one is to help you measure your improvement, or lack thereof, over time.  The second and critical purpose it serves is to motivate you to recommit to your goals.  Once you've seen progress and results, this will inspire you to continue forward and stay committed.  Obviously, lack of results can do just the opposite.  You have to put in the work in life, no one said this would be a piece of cake.

Smiling after ING Miami Half Marathon 2009

Eight short months after beginning my running lifestyle, I ran my first half marathon (ING Miami Half Marathon 2009).  Truly a huge accomplishment for me, given the fact that less than a year earlier I was 40lbs overweight and completely out of shape.  It was a goal I had set for myself the minute I ran past the 4 mile mark.  The 4-miler was my initial goal but once I reached it, I was hungry to achieve more.  Many people reach one goal and then sit on their laurels expecting future achievements to just fall on their lap.  My recommendation, once you reach a goal, is to celebrate and enjoy the accomplishment but you must immediately begin to think of your next goal.  A goal that will hopefully push you beyond your previous success.  With the proper training and commitment, we can all achieve miraculous results.

                                         

It all starts with making the commitment.  Don't do it for someone else, don't do it because someone told you to do it, do it just for you.  Do it because you want a better life.  You can bet that if you commit and take the required steps, the universe will conspire in your favor to produce the people and resources you need to achieve your dreams.  As Napolean Hill said it: "Do not wait; the time will never be "just right." Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along."

Many important decisions in your life require some form of commitment.  To reach any goal you must make a commitment to yourself.  You must commit to achieving the best in your life.  Use the power of commitment to push you through the obstacles and when the going gets tough, recommit but never ever quit!

My biggest fan!  My son, cheering me on at the finish line of the ING Miami Half Marathon 2011

Share at Your Own Risk

When I was a teenager my parents gave me an invaluable piece of advice.  I don't recall what event triggered them to give me this very helpful yet simple tip.  They said: "Don't tell people about something before it happens."  Of course they said it in Spanish and they used more words to explain it to my younger self.  What they were trying to tell me is, don't go out there announcing that this or that is going to happen before it actually does.  Don't tell people you are going to buy a new house or you're going to start a business.  They said: "Many people are envious, some subconsciously, and they will introduce negative energy that for some reason or an other will cause your desired result not to come true."  They also went on to say that this doesn't just apply to people you don't know, it applies to your very own friends or even family members.

At first I questioned their advice.  How could telling someone about something I know will happen, affect it to the point that it doesn't come true?  All questioning went out the window after a few times of seeing their advice play out in front of my eyes.  I would tell my friends about something that I was excited about which hadn't yet come to fruition but I knew it would.  Then out of the blue, this thing I was so sure about, ends up fizzling out and not happening.  This happened to me several times before it finally dawned on me that my parents had given me a piece of advice that I could readily apply in my life.

One of the problems with sharing your goals or ideas too soon is that you force your ego to have to explain your decision and many times defend your idea.  All of which takes your focus off of achieving it and many times introduces doubt.  If you're working on a business idea, don't go telling the world about it until you have something concrete established.  Do it to early and you risk failing.  Keep it to yourself until you have something to show for it. 

With regard to sharing information with family members Sara Blakely, the Founder and Owner of Spanx, said this: "Ideas are the most vulnerable in their infancy. Family and friends often express concern or doubts (out of love) that can stop people dead in their tracks."  She kept her business idea secret from her own family until about a year into it.  She was afraid they would convince her not to pursue this business idea, which now has made her the youngest female billionaire in the world.  Thank goodness she knew about the secret tip my parents gave me lol.

The rule is: Don't tell people about your goals or ideas, unless of course, these people can help you achieve these goals or help move your ideas into a positive direction.  If these people can't affect the positive outcome, then don't share it with them.  I know it's so hard to keep quiet but you have to give up the need for immediate gratification in order to achieve long term fulfillment.  Of course you can always share it once it's come true.  Stay grateful my friends!